Virginia is Humbling

"Virginia is humbling. It doesn't try to be – it just is. I sit here with my red wine, cigar, and brand-new Samsung Galaxy Ultra cellphone and I feel spoiled; I'm soaking in luxury. I'm not really. My red wine is bottom shelf, my cigar a black cherry cigarillo, one of a two pack for $6.99, and my cellphone will take me three years to pay off. The truth is though, if I were born only two lifetimes ago, one hundred and sixty years before right now, I'd be witnessing people slaughtering each other in this very spot. Now, I look at the red clay in the driveway, and I wonder if blood could be blamed for turning the ground red, seeping into the very earth I'm casually resting my toes on. I'm in the seat of privilege, and it's humbling.

One hundred and sixty years wasn't really that long ago. I struggle to imagine a world in which humans could cut each other down by the thousands. It seems like a bad dream; a nightmare I know was real. Everyone knows it was real. I've read of the American Civil War in the history books. I can always learn more online, but all the information is merely facts until I come here. Here where I can feel people hiding in the trees, shaking, stunned with fear as the enemy approached. Enemies who were related. Brothers, uncles, friends. Humans. And I think, how could we do that to each other? How could hate win? But I know that's not all of it. The truth is much more complex. And I know this from my seat of privilege. And I feel the pain in my bones as I try to understand.

I fear it will happen again. It is happening again. Only now our weapons are advanced and our feelings are muted, silenced with knowledge no one truly accepts.

I wonder what color the clay will be the next time I'm here…"